A Little Affirmation Goes A Long Way

Stuart Smalley will always be one of my favorite characters on Saturday Night Live. Remember him? “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and doggonit, people like me!”

If it’s one thing I’ve learned in my career so far it’s that no matter how old we are or how successful we become, everyone likes a pat on the back every now and then. Over the past couple of weeks  I’ve been dealing with clients I’ve perceived as difficult and challenging. They haven’t complained, whined or scolded. They just haven’t felt the need to say, “good job!”Therefore, I assume they think I’m an idiot, my work stinks and wish to find someone they think is better and smarter. Healthy, huh? In my defense, I do feel it’s human nature to question your talents when you don’t receive positive feedback, but really, you do get so much more out of a person when you give them even just a little affirmation.

Sometimes my security as a professional decreases because, and I’ll admit it, I like to hear I’m fabulous. But today I realized that it’s not me–we all want a little pat on the back. I had two interactions with people I greatly respect who all but admitted they like to hear how wonderful they are too–every now and then. A colleague, who I felt never let clients or work stress him out shared that he internalizes his anxiety and, in fact, gets nervous before important meetings and/or presentations. And, my mother, an extremely successful teacher of more than 35 years, filled me in on how her principal recently singled her out and thanked her for always being able to count on her for a job well done. See? I’m not alone. Even those I look up to need a little Stuart Smalley mantra.

Like everything in life, this is another lesson learned and I make it a point to provide those I work with the feedback I would want. Granted, neither myself, nor anyone else, is perfect, so the feedback may not always be positive. However, just knowing whether the direction in which you’re headed is the right one can help immensely.

So, those clients I’m referring to aren’t really challenging, and if they don’t feel the need to reaffirm that the job I’m doing is a good one that’s fine. I’ll just have to have my own secret daily affirmation myself. Whatever works, right?

Only Me

Just when you think there are no more decent people in this world, my idiocy offers the opportunity to prove that theory wrong.

Because I am constantly doing 9 things at once, my attention to detail (personally, not professionally), can sometimes fall to the wayside. Therefore, today’s “situation” (not to be mistaken for the guy from the Jersey Shore) proves once again that I need to SLOW DOWN.

This evening I received a call from a strange woman who was in possession of some photos I sent to a friend. The woman, although extremely nice, was floored by the receipt of this package. She had lived at this residence for almost a year, and knew the two previous owners. And neither she nor those who used to live there, were my friend.

Mortified, I asked her if I could confirm my friend’s address and call her back. She so generously offered to mail the photos back to me (btw, the photos were nothing scandalous, just some family pictures I would never want to lose), but since I was capable enough to get the city right in the address, I asked if she would mind mailing them to my friend’s “real” address.

So, I called my friend, and after her outburst of laughter at what an airhead I am, she reminded me of her address. Turns out, she lives next door.

As we speak, my old friend, and my new friend, are meeting their neighbor for the first time. At least my mistake could add more peace to the streets.*

*I want to say a special thanks to Google, because if not for you, my lovely new friend would have never found me, and my cell phone number, and my precious photos would have been lost forever. Thank goodness for technology!

For Grammy

I’m more than embarrassed that it has been months since my last post, but fortunately, it’s because I was just too busy. Business was extremely good over the summer, and I’m now enjoying a little breather as my workload, although meaty, is nice and manageable.

In memory of my Grammy, who passed away on this day, 13 years ago, I am hoping this is the rebirth of the “All I Never Wanted To Be Was A Stay-At-Home Mom” blog.

Also, for the first time since my Grammy passed away, I am spending the anniversary of her passing with those of us closest to her–my Gramps, Nanny (I’m lucky enough to have inherited a second grandmother 11 years ago), Aunt and Cousin. Although I wish my mom was with us, too, it is so comforting to be together to share the memories of our beloved Grammy. The Buba and I traveled, with Michael, to Philadelphia, where we have all gathered to celebrate the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashana. Michael continued on to Baltimore last evening where he met up with his Metro Firefighter’s softball team and is playing in a tournament to benefit Muscular Dystrophy. So, this weekend I’m playing single mom.

Although I am 100 percent supportive of Michael’s playing on this softball team and traveling, I still believe it is my duty as a Jewish wife to remind him how much fun he’s having this weekend while I’m being a single mom. Likely not fair, but it’s what I do. And, it’s not the first time…

About a month ago the five of us, plus our nanny (aka babysitter so as not to be confused with the real Nanny), traveled to Florida to celebrate my grandparents’ 90th birthdays (my father’s side, not those I was referring to above–sheesh, I feel like I have a lot of grandparents, how lucky am I?).

I’m kind of obsessed with getting “bumped” by the airline, so when the opportunity arose for one of our party to give up their seat and in exchange receive $300, I was all about it. Without a thought, and frankly, like a dumba$$, I immediately agreed that Michael would take the other flight (that would arrive 10 minutes after us) by himself. So, the “best wife ever” (as I like to refer to myself), babysitter, two tweens and The Buba all flew together while Michael flew by himself. Pardon me, but WTF was I thinking? Granted, it was a relatively easy trip thanks to the best babysitter ever, and the tweens, who you forget are even with you because they’re so good, but still. Michael did whine about having to sit next to a heavyset gentleman, but then this gentleman shared his drink tickets with Michael. Rough trip dear.

So, today, as I was catching the food The Buba was throwing at me while I was trying to feed him lunch, I received a text from my beloved: “I am bored….sitting by myself listening to music.” Seriously honey, am I supposed to sympathize? Not going to happen from this Jewish wife.

P.S. He’s still the best husband ever.